by Sally | Mar 6, 2018 | Blog |
The recent white out across the UK has had me thinking on just how much this type of curved ball can send a sensitive person into a bit of a spin. It’s not so much as the event or circumstances but the responses that it brings.
Often, as highly sensitive souls we have a very strong nurturing streak and anything that brings difficulties to others triggers our need to step up to help them or sort things out. Again this isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it can cause us to become frazzled as we battle against the odds (in this case the snow and the restrictions it brought) to try and cater for those around us needs.
We get caught up in the very yang process of a great need to “do” something when often a softer place of balance between yin/yang brings its own unique qualities. We have to “be” enough so that we can hear our inner guidance to know we are “doing” what is needed and is the most suitable course of action.
When caught up like this we totally overlook our own needs and here lies the root of our problem. We put ourselves to the back of the queue, and go into hyper drive bustling and fussing over others, and it almost seems the more obstacles we come across, the more we feel the need to push against them.
Whilst admirable on some levels and almost always fascinating how our resourcefulness comes out. Our baking and making skills are often accessed as is our creative approach to problem solving. We often push our options to the extreme and just don’t like to admit defeat on a practical level (or actually on any level). However emotionally we can feel that we have reached our “limit” and just couldn’t possibly handle “One more thing”
We aren’t super human and need to remember to honour our own boundaries and to rest up both physically and mentally. Boundaries on all levels – mental, physical, spiritually and emotionally are very important to highly sensitive souls.
Poor physical boundaries lead to exhaustion; on a basic level we are expending a lot of energy without taking any steps to replenish it in any way. Poor mental boundaries can mean our thoughts are in over drive and we feel frazzled. Many describe it as not being able to hear themselves speak for the noisy thoughts spiralling through their mind. Spiritually we can fall into either end of the scale and can feel totally disconnected or be so absorbed on a spiritual level that we aren’t grounded enough to bring through our ideas into the physical realm. Emotionally poor boundaries lead to a feeling of confusion and helplessness. We are so porous that what we pick up emotionally from others can be mistaken as our own.
Without a little self care we will burn out and be of no real help to those we had set out to help in the first place.
When feeling frazzled ask yourself a few quick and simple questions
Have I eaten lately? – We are often very prone to overlooking even our most basic needs. Eating is also a really good way to bring energy fully into the body not only are we replenishing some energy from the food but we bring our energy focus fully into the body in the process of digestion.
Am I having proper rest and /or enough sleep? – Often pushing through the tiredness barrier or not sleeping well due to an overactive mind becomes the norm. Rest when you feel tired and try to keep to as regular a sleep pattern as you can. (without worrying or trying to adopt a sleep pattern that just isn’t right for our bodies – remembering your unique pattern is best)
Have I compromised my boundaries? If so stop and allow yourself space to reset boundaries, we often don’t stop to think about boundaries and even affirming them to ourselves helps put us back on track – and don’t forget to let others know what you need from them.
Is this mine? – Often we get so caught up with others stuff that we react to the energy they are putting out and the emotions we feel aren’t even our own. ( in this case detaching from what is causing the issue will help bring perspective.
Stop and Breathe! – A minute of conscious breathing can be all we need to ground ourselves in the physical and clarify just what is needed. It also quickly reduces our anxiety levels. (As long as you don’t cheat and allow the mind monkeys to talk over your tranquillity)
I have managed to readjust how I was reacting to the external and to bring a bit more clarity. so I am just off for a rest now.
I hope you manage to find your way through whatever is causing you unrest and can adopt this strategy or one similar to help make sure that burnout is a distant memory.
If you would like to book a free sensitive souls chat to discuss your needs and to see how essences can help you regain clarity and calm you can do so by clicking the link below to my online diary.
https://sallyarthurs.youcanbook.me
Much love
Sally xxx
by Sally | Dec 4, 2017 | Blog |
Holding on too tightly to our gifts and not allowing others to take or receive from us is detrimental to our well-being.
Like the tree overly heavy with fruit we become burdened by so much weight. When we sit back and don’t actively share with others, what we offer in a way becomes tainted.
It becomes tainted by our perceptions of who or what should be our recipient. Who are we to judge who will benefit in some way from our offerings. Who are we to allow others to take what they need at our expense. We need to be clear on what we will or wont offer. Keep firm boundaries on that but also actively need to share in order to grow and keep our own energy clear and unburdened.
Like wise knowledge must be shared before it is lost in the ether’s forever. However knowledge is an ever evolving thing and holding on too tightly to what we think we know is as harmful as being influenced by what doesn’t serve us.
Knowing is relevant in the moment but it evolves as we evolve and it is in a way the stepping stone to new and bigger ideas and projects. If we don’t act on what we know how can we expect to move forward?
Our knowledge is our personal perception and inner guidance and in sharing it we may trigger something in others that allow a glimmer of light that becomes a catalyst in their learning process. Like wise when we read the knowledge of others it can kindle in us an inner knowing that propels us to find out more and increases the validation of our own remembering.
We are linked to every aspect of knowing in the universe and it constantly streams through us, becoming aware of the “channels” that speak to us helps us make sense of our present moments and lessons. A bit like our PC systems when we have saturated a level we need to upgrade and are therefore able to link to new programs and channels.
Our own energetic system upgrade is dependent on our willingness to put in the work and in our acceptance of what we learn, integrating it into our being and going with the expansive flow.
What if someone is desperately seeking the link that you have so carefully hidden from outside view ?
What if in offering the puzzle pieces we have found to others – we ourselves are able to find more puzzle pieces that link us to bigger pictures than we can currently envisage?
How can you share your gifts with the world – the answer is simple – share what you know and speak of your passions. One small step at a time.
Look forward to sharing with you,
Sally x
by Sally | Sep 11, 2017 | Blog |
There has been some tricky energy about these past few weeks, not least caused by the eclipses, Solar flares and planetary influences! There have been a whole lot of intensely irritated and tense people and it’s interesting that a few weeks into this icky phase that there are lots of coughs, headaches, skin irritations and other “reactive” symptoms being reported. Almost everyone I know is experiencing at least one of the above! Long forgotten health issues are also being triggered, weird and wonderful long forgotten symptoms that have been held deep within our cells and with allergic reactions that don’t seem to have a notable source.
All symptoms are products of various forms of irritation to one or more factor externally and it’s interesting to look at what’s going on around us right now.
On a global scale so many are being pulled into the reactivity phase and buying into the stories they are hearing external to themselves, which is complicating things for them. Remember focus inwards, feel into your own core and stay true to your own vibration. When you feel an onslaught of thought or emotion, sit with it and allow your energy to re-calibrate and settle before discerning a course of action, if indeed any action needs taken. Don’t allow the external to knock you sideways or spiral you into a loop of conditioned reactivity.
The incoming planetary influences have been quite intense, to the point of being physically palpable and somewhat relentless, although not yet understood on a conscious level. The physical body can’t always process energy without triggering cellular memory responses and the complications that they can cause. It is also desperately trying to run a “programme” to “deal” with the external rather than allowing it to flow deflecting or allowing it to flow through on our inner compasses guidance.
The changes can seem viral in nature to our body and it can kick and fight trying to claim status quo but it needs to learn to let go and flow with the cellular alterations that are taking place.
The importance of self care and self containment can’t be stressed enough; only from our own inner core and compass can we really function effectively. Be discerning of what you allow into your awareness and energy field and keep strong boundaries.
If you really want to dig into this, look at the symptoms that are surfacing and trace them back through your life to when they have surfaced previously, what was going on for you emotionally at that time may well be the key to healing and releasing on a cellular level!
Trust the process and stay true to yourself!
I’m so glad I have the support of my Essences to help me navigate these strange times!
You’ve got this ….. Sally xxx
by Sally | Sep 5, 2017 | Blog |
When we bring awareness to the fore we bring a valuable tool to the table and one that allows us to discern just what is going on for us. It may well be that we don’t fully understand but the awareness that something has been triggered allows us to follow the trail. When we are aware that we have been triggered we can then choose more effectively how we respond to this trigger.
Of Old we would probably have been propelled straight into a knee jerk reaction that was little if anything to do with what was actually presenting to us in the now. Often these knee jerk reactions were costly for us too. Over reaction tends not to be positive or well thought out and especially if it puts us into defence mode it can cause all sorts of complications that aren’t so easily remedied.
With awareness we can check into what is happening and make sure that we don’t compromise our integrity, burn bridges or lose out on valuable opportunities.
I was compelled to put this together today as I found myself slipping somewhat into a learned response to the icky FMS ( full moon syndrome) mode ( my own label for this moon phase), a bit like pre menstrual syndrome except triggered by the influence of the impending full moon. We encounter full moon energy every 28 days and some cycles it affects us more than others, we react to this in a cellular level but we don’t have to allow the reaction to manifest on an emotional or physical level. We may well need to alter how or what we do around this time but with awareness we don’t need to become the victim of energetic circumstance.
Awareness brings the key that allows us to know which doors are best locked at this time and what is best postponed till a more energetically conducive time. This doesn’t mean we come to a standstill it means that we prioritise and accept that there are limitations and within the limitations we can be as productive as we need to be. Also holding fast to the truth that this will pass and we will soon be up and running at optimum speed in a few days is helpful.
One of the essences I like at this time is Selenite – I find its gentle and illuminates from within so that I can stay clear on my core energy and take steps to rectify things If I feel I’m having a wobble. My cellular energy may be affected but my mental, emotional and spiritual bodies can hold space for any necessary fluctuations and Selenite is a great essence to facilitate this partnership.
We are not broken , we don’t need fixing. We merely need awareness and the space to flow in harmony with the tides of the moon.
Wishing you a smooth and illuminated Full Moon.
Sally xxx
To find out how essences could help you work with your sensitivities in a more productive way you can book a free 45 minute Sensitive Souls session with me to discuss your needs. https://sallyarthurs.youcanbook.me/
by Sally | Aug 3, 2017 | Blog |
I have been giving words a lot of thought today, listening to how and what I say and trying to make sense of the power that words have for us. Its been a bit of an interesting one for me to explore.
I am a wordy person, I like to using words in the written form and I like a good old chat (I have my mum to thank for that – She had a first class degree in long conversations – known fondly in Glasgow as “an awfy blether” or being able to “talk the hind legs off a donkey”). In my work as a therapist I find myself intrigued by the words that people use to describe how they are feeling and have learned that really listening to these words hold keys into what is needed to help them rebalance.
Words can be a useful tool or a harsh weapon. They can express a feeling or a sentiment, they can comfort and reassure, they can confuse, uplift, inspire and cause deep pain. They are can be enigmatic and at times can be totally elusive.
How many times have you heard someone say something and been totally inspired and motivated by their words, or been hurt by the biting words from someone, sometimes glib comments said with no malice can be taken like a dagger wound to the heart. It is our perception of those words and the perceived feel of the energy behind them that causes us problems.
You know that feeling when someone says something really quite harsh but delivers it from a place of love and we are able to hear them but deflect the harshness in favour of learning something either about ourselves or about the person delivering those words.
Then there are the times when someone says something nice or positive to you but that grating nagging feeling shows up within you, and you know something just doesn’t feel right, the words said are being delivered from a less than positive place in that person. Their negativity may well have absolutely nothing to do with us but we feel it and adopt it as if it was an arrow thrown intentionally. We have no idea why we feel hurt or deflated by these words – as after all they were positive and pleasant – but we are picking up on the energy the person delivering them is dealing with at this time.
Don’t get me wrong some people give compliments and praise freely. But do so out of some need to be seen as “nice” or “supportive” and really do deliver them in a less than supportive way. That’s when our inner bullshit detector fires up and alerts us to this. Remember this is good as its giving us the heads up not to let that energy into our own energy system too readily.
If we can detach ourselves and question what we feel then we can save ourselves the confusion and hurt of accepting any form of energy or validity from the words. Noting what their words trigger in us is insightful and gifts us the ability to learn and grow.
There are 3 essences I tend to use a lot if I find myself in a situation where I am faltering in response to what someone has said to me. Ground Moss for when they trigger hyper emotional responses and it literally feels that I have lost ability to do anything about how I feel.
Another essence is Red Chestnut, when I get caught in the thought loop of a conversation “post mortem”” and spiral into the “could have” “ should have” and further on into the negative self chatter that leads me to be panicky and feeling like the worst thing that could happen – has actually happened! (This is most definitely not the case – if we were in a worst case scenario we would be too busy coping in fight or flight mode and taking action to even think about anything.)
The other I find helpful in this situation, and in particular if I know that I am having to be around a person that is prone to acting in a way that takes me to the more negative dwelling side of things is Walnut Moss, it allows me to digest their words and choose wisely before accepting anything energetically from them, it also helps me process my thoughts and compose my own words wisely and saves me from dropping into a triggered knee jerk response to their words.
One of the hardest things to deal with is when words “fail” us. You know the occasions when someone asks you a question and you just can’t find an answer anywhere, the more you search in your mind for one, the more the panic rises and the more the ability to find the words gets further away.
Another question that arises from my “word ponder” is Why do we feel the need to fill any silences with words. Those times when all goes quiet and the knot in our stomach builds pushing us into that need to fill the silence with words, often we don’t really want to talk, nor does the other person but we end up filling an awkward silence with meaningless words that in the end make us feel inadequate and stupid and builds that weird energy that is counterproductive when we pick up on the stickiness of how the strained conversation is going.
That isn’t to say that it is good to strike up a conversation with whoever we meet but to do so when we feel it, rather than when we are merely trying to feel less uncomfortable in the situation we find ourselves in.
I used to get quite frustrated if someone broke into my silence with mindless chatter. However I do try to be mindful that perhaps the person doing so may have a real need just to feel heard. Often much of our own frustrations come from not feeling heard too! There is a huge difference between listening to someone and actually hearing them. The greatest gift you can give someone to actually listen to them without judgement.
Our own words also affect us as much if not more than they affect others. If our inner voice is criticising it can render us powerless. In fact our inner critic says way worse things to us than anyone else can – and more regularly! You can learn to tame the critic and be aware of what your mind chatter is telling you. It can be your greatest enemy or your finest coach so choose those words in thought wisely.
Don’t believe everything your inner voice says to you and this again comes down to the question everything. If its your coach heed its wise words and if its your critic question what it is that it is trying to prevent you from doing. Often its coming from the centre of our fears and in trying to protect us from being disappointed it keeps us from the optimism of trying.
Not only what you say, but how you say it has a big impact on how we are received by others. So choose wisely and always think before you share your words with others.
In this era of technology it is a totally different ball game as although the energy behind a text or email can be felt on some level, there is a complexity that also brings our state of mind when reading the messages into a contributing factor to how we presume the words are meant. Trying to explore further into that topic was a little too much for my brain to handle today !
So I shall leave you with some more words…. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to others especially when it comes to self talk. …
My gratitude to you if you have got this far – Thank you for reading my words I hope they give you food for thought!
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