What Our Pattern is showing us
Last week I shared a ballgown photo and asked if it was too much for everyday wear. Cue the incoming comments, sparkles clearly win over sabotage every time. I get it. It’s easier to talk sequins than sneaky patterns. The thing is: that’s exactly how patterns work. Distraction slips in looking fun, shiny, perfectly reasonable… and the deeper stuff gets dodged.
When patterns arrive the real sabotage doesn’t usually look dramatic. It’s not thunderclaps or big fallouts. It’s the moment you want to do the thing, but you tie your self in knots with self doubt, what if’s and an unhealthy dose of procrastination that leaves you unable to do what you set out to do.
Before you can choose, that pesky pattern stomps in like a stroppy teenager, you may even feel this frustration and self sabotage physically in your body a bit like a scream stuck somewhere with no outlet … and just like that, nothing gets done.
Why Small Wobbles Can Feel So Big
Research shows our early experiences don’t just disappear. They lay down wiring that echoes into adulthood. That’s why a teeny, tiny wobble now, can feel like a tidal wave, because the response was scripted long before we can remember fully and it is an absolute pro!
The good news? It’s just a script, and like any script, it can be rewritten to fit who you are today, not who you were back then.
The Real Shift
Sometimes the win isn’t avoiding the pattern. It’s catching it a second sooner. Noticing mid-strop that your reacting as a lead character from an old outdated script … and this script is running the show. Seeing the script in action, even if you still trip over it is a massive win. Why? Because you cant change what you cant see … awareness is the first step to change …..
Those glimpses may not be sparkly or glamorous, and you may feel they definitely do not warrant ball gown status, but they add up, they count they are important and they’re the quiet proof that change is happening.
So yes, I’ll happily keep posting the occasional frock for fun.
(And I know some of you would meet me for coffee in a ballgown and trainers at the drop of a hat… but let’s face it, we wouldn’t wear hats, it would be tiaras, darling.)
But I’ll also keep showing up with the heavy stuff, with calling the patterns out, and with highlighting necessary change, because while sequins are fun, the real transformation happens when we notice the scripts and start rewriting them.
If you are done with that old outdated script and would learn to rewrite a new one then lets chat – book your no obligation chat with me here: https://tidycal.com/sallyarthurs/30-minute-meeting
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