I had a strange initiation into the realm of animal spirit guides that again, in hindsight, goes further back than first thought- as always seems to be the case. There is a theme I promise! Although I will meander a little, as you do!
I had been so distraught at the loss of my little border collie cross companion Corrie, when I was 11 that my family refused point blank to have another dog – or any pet really. I tried several times to persuade them but to no avail.
When I was around 16 there was something strange that went on and suddenly my mum arrived home and we were embracing the tiniest black kitten into our home. My mum, being a rather old school and blatantly obvious with names – called her Sooty.
She always remained a dainty soul and I referred to her as “my little black panther” She would often sleep on my bed and I assisted her through 2 very unexpected litters when she uncharacteristically decided that outdoors was ok so when she reached about 4 years old. Incidentally we kept one of the kittens who my mum insisted on calling “Tigger” – yes you’ve guessed it – he was a striped tabby!
Sooty opened the flood gates
Before too long, I managed to persuade them to let me have a dog. So for many years we had a bit of a menagerie going on, but hey I digress.
I had never given spirit or totem animals much thought. As a participant in a spiritual development group – the weeks topic was animal guides – so off we went on a journey to meet ours. It was a very unremarkable journey and I met with a black panther – who walked slowly and deliberately towards the water’s edge between us and fixed her gaze on me. That was it, very mundane and definitely not insightful.
Then a day or two later “it” began , the dreams, nightmares even, where I saw myself as a young antelope like creature and every time I had the dream this black panther with her staring gaze would course after me and pounce on the back of my neck, dragging me to the ground and then literally squeezing the life out of me.
Each time the short and fast dream was exactly the same.
Then I began having strange reactions to sounds, one I remember distinctly was when a motor bike zoomed up behind me – and as it passed me – I froze – and recoiled my neck in – shoulders up round my ears type reaction. I was physically waiting on the “bite” which was incredibly surreal. This went on for several days with me reacting to sounds, always, and only those that originated from behind me.
Encouraged by mentors to explore – I did and this small black panther arrived – showing me my nightmares from her perspective – a starving mother desperate to feed her young I was easy picking and my life sacrifice allowed multiple life’s to continue and her showing up with gratitude opened a whole new world of understanding for me.
For many years she walked beside me – small , sleek – and when there was ever an instance where I had to be critically aware of my surroundings or those around me she walked purposely in front of me and sat there – alerting me and encouraging decrement .
This continued for many years until I visited Belize and Guatemala – we visited the Mayan Temples in Lamanai, Belize, including the Jaguar Temple. Followed shortly after by a rather arduous mid-day jungle treck to the Jaguar caves in Guatemala – after being part of a Mayan protection ceremony!
I had a bizarre experience where my trusty panther guide rose up in front of me and showed herself in a much taller and more robust form than she had ever been – winding herself around me in that way felines so , she reared up behind me and rather than pouncing – she merged with my energy completely. It was incredibly powerful and incredibly emotional. I felt stronger than I have ever done.
We interestingly also visited Cozumel in Mexico where we just happened to find our way to the Temple of the Moon Goddess Ixchel, also known as the Jaguar goddess.
So to explain further – Ixchel is The Moon goddess, who worshipped the sun god and bore him the 4 star Jaguar sons of the 4 directions. ( panthers -more subtly -and jaguars coats actually resemble star constellations! )
I had been drawn to having a tattoo years earlier which I found out was Mayan symbology of the sun and the moon and yet this was the first time I had heard the personal connection to Ixchel .
Coming on the back of my Jaguar experience it was hard to ignore the relationship.
I was therefore guided to rename my vibrational essence range and Ixchel trinity became the phonetic spelling of EeeShel Trinity Essences. If you know me you will know of my love of 3’s and the trinity often links to mind, body, spirit and also in this case the Sun, Moon and Stars!
There are have been many other synchronistic events that have arrived and many are ongoing. Which brings me back to what prompted me to write this post in the first place!
We were recently decorating our bedroom, I use the term loosely as it was literally taken back to the brick to be re-done! Anyway I was in search for a panther painting for the walls but was drawing a blank until I saw an absolutely amazing one named “Pantheress” by Kerry Darlington not only beautiful the symbology of the merging of the protectress energy with the feminine but Kerry’s description of the art work really spoke to me and I quote ” Many cultures have been fascinated by the symbolism of black panthers. They’ve been thought to symbolize the feminine, the dark mother, the dark of the moon; Darkness, death and rebirth from it;
Seen as protector of the universe. On a Shamanic level, they are said to aid Astral Travel. I depicted the panther here as a guardian of the feminine and wanted the background to have an abstract otherworldly feel, so that it could be in space, part of a dream, or deep underwater”
As you can see this fitted my own experience with panther /Jaguar perfectly! It is rather beautiful isn’t it?
So in a round a bout way I got there! The prompt was hanging the photograph and the sharing is my personal experience with the Panther / Jaguar – it is surreal to feel her when she is around, you can feel her stealth, her purposeful gait, the ripple of every sinew in her body as she steps forward. Her exquisite examination of the surroundings, and yet her unwavering calmness. Her ability to alert me to situations, or people that I may not have picked up on – I feel truly blessed that she walks with me.
Do you have experiences of your animal guide and how has working with them altered your life?
As many of you know Gold is one of my “Things” my passion and what an amazing journey I have had with Gold! If you have been around for a while you probably know this but I completely get that many folks here will not know how I got to be so passionate about this amazing element.
Gold has been on my radar since around 2000 or so – consciously that is and it’s hard to say exactly how it piqued my interest in the first place but wiggling it’s way in it definitely got my attention!
I began having weird interactions with Gold via meditation around 2009/10 and my Egyptian interest coupled with curiosity opened up a bit of a weird one with bi – location, Mono atomic gold and ongoing insights into just what Gold could bring to me on an energetic level.
The insights came and went as did the practice but each time I revisited the journey it gifted me something more in-depth and intriguing than the last one.
So the notion of Fragments of Gold was in essence born around 2011 but it was little more than a self-exploration practice that was developing for me.
Now I can be a bit slow and obstinate and unless synchronicities are bountiful and kind of wave wiggle themselves in my face introducing themselves I can dig my heels in – waiting for ” higher confirmation” that I am indeed on the right track. ( thankfully I’m getting better at listening!)
That higher confirmation came in the rather unusual format of a musical event that was to be held in Glasgow Cathedral – this was to be held on 30th August 2014.
The event only caught my eye as it was called “Fragments of Gold” – I hummed and hawed over whether I should go or not – bought a ticket and still couldn’t make my mind up.
It was some classical composition composed by DJ Goldie – who was a complete unknown to me – after a Google search finding out that he is big in the Drum and Base music field which was definitely NOT my thing!
There was that little itch at my brain that tweaking of the Golden threads that I couldn’t help notice – Fragments of Gold – Goldie with his gold capped teeth – to perform an ancient classical piece in the sacred space of Glasgow Cathedral which is a known node on the Glasgow Network of aligned sites ( ley lines and sacred sites were another of my passions!)
Then things started to get a little weird – it took me ages to share this as it feels a bit egotistical – and yet it feels so synchronistically aligned.
Anyway the dreams began and over a few days they played out – each time ending in a shout out from Goldie looking to connect with a person with a specific mix of
tattoo’s – I know crazy right ?
Each time in the dream there would be a few people put themselves forward and each time they weren’t the right ones – he refined the criteria and voila they matched mine – I tried ignoring it but each time something or someone else in the dream would push me forward- and it would end when Goldie acknowledged me by simply saying “it’s you”
It was, in my mind overtly egotistical and I couldn’t think for the life of me why I would even want to connect with a gold toothed – wild – drum and base guy!
Yet the fragments of Gold kept swirling in my awareness , I gave in and decided to go anyway – it wasn’t going to be a long event so what was there to lose? Not to mention I might get a bit of peace from the crazy dreams!
On the night I was still not feeling the vibe – so kicked on a comfy pair of Jeans and a top threw an old cardi on just incase it rained – and a comfy pair of trainers as it was a bit of a hike to the cathedral.
It was a warm night and I was a bit frazzled by the time I got there – so feeling decidedly grumpy and frumpy for better way of describing it I took a seat and watched the
carefully arranged pendulums swish to and fro over blocks that resembled white Piano keys – a friendly sort of guy sat next to me and struck up a conversation- which to be frank bored me really quickly as it was pulling my attention from the vibe that was in the room – so polite hmm’s and occasional nodding was my mode.
Suddenly a ripple went round the room and this unrecognisable guy walked down the nearby aisle. The guy next to me informed me “there he is” so I presumed he meant Goldie – he looked nothing like the kind of menacing photos from his acting roles that I’d seen on the internet – thankfully!
Then all of a sudden he broke into a run and bounced right over to me – gave me the mother of all bear hugs – said “you look like you need a hug “ and then bounced off into the throng of people again!
The hug was remarkable not a superficial type one but a strong heart connected one – and definitely not the kind I would expect from a stranger – Let alone a celebrity one!
The event was amazing and to listen to how Goldie channeled the music – getting up in the night to compose having no notion of exactly how it had arrived – just that that’s the way it happens!
The music was filtered to perfection as the acoustics of the cathedral carried it in its fullness and it was certainly a worthwhile experience however the validations of Fragments of Gold was enough to spur me on to taking the journey to a whole new level – Gold insights often arrive in the middle of the night so capturing the fullness of this can take time and effort, but it’s literally worth its weight in Gold !
So this is how my signature programme came to its title of Fragments of Gold – a phenomenal experience and yet it still took time for more of the components to filter through – I offered my first “Fragments of Gold” journey back in 2019 and have been running these via short journeys regularly since then.
There is another shift in this work coming and a deepening of those Fragments of Gold and I will be announcing this soon – Autumn 2022.
I am grateful for this amazing experience that anchored that name for me without a shadow of a doubt. I am grateful for Gold and how it has shown me so much of its long forgotten amazingness and I am grateful for those who have joined me to journey with Gold and to embrace its specialness.
Mirrors eh! Love them or hate them they are interesting – intriguing and also very enlightening.
When you look into the mirror – who do you see?
Do you recognise the person looking back at you?
Do you look at them with love or with criticism ~ or worse ~ condemnation?
Do you see only flaws or perhaps disappointment as the years shift our features into something or someone we may feel we don’t know?
Or do you see a soul looking back at you through your eyes
Searching for a glimmer of kindness ~ love ~ recognition even?
How do you treat that person looking back at you from the mirror? Do you pay them very little attention – do you judge and belittle – do you treat them in the way you would abhor to treat another human being?
What if I remind you that the person in the mirror – the reflection looking back at you – is your greatest ally ~ the one person who doesn’t desert you ~ your greatest teacher ~ your confidante ~ the person who knows every little detail about you – the times you have cried yourself to sleep – the times you have gone out of your way to help others unnoticed ~ your uncertainties and your fears.
Perhaps that is why you criticise that reflection ~ presuming it to be “like others” ready to pounce and use your flaws and insecurities against you?
What if I told you that this person staring right back at you is the one you need to love the most ~ the one you need to be gentle and kind with ~ the one who is always patiently waiting for your approval?
If you are looking for approval- look in the mirror
If you are looking for love – look in the mirror
If you are looking for compassion look in the mirror
If you are looking for inspiration look in the mirror
Looking in the mirror we look to ourselves ~ to our deepest wisdom ~ to our infinite well of unconditional love and compassion. Your greatest teacher looks back at you when you look in the mirror!
What if I told you that everything you don’t like in your life is a mirror? A mirror reflecting back at you the need to look within ~ to look to your own guidance~ to love yourself?
Until we can face the external what ever it may be – with unconditional love and an understanding that all discord comes from a place of lack of love ~ then until we find that place within ~ our own painful hurts will be triggered ~ no amount of external work or avoidance ~ will heal the places where we deeply need to love ourselves.
Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift of all – when you can love yourself unconditionally , there is so much love within that it can’t help overflow and touch everything we do and everyone we meet with that beautiful magic.
Until you learn to love yourself you will always have a space where no matter how much love you receive from others there will still be that aching empty space within.
What if I told you that loving yourself is much easier than you think – it begins with small steps and the more you take these small steps the bigger the impact on your wellbeing.
Start by saying something kind to yourself – If you don’t find it easy to say ” I love you” try “thank you” and if you struggle with that try to stop any negative “thought comments” in their track ….. we say things like ” my hair is a mess” ” you look – Tired/Pale/bored/ too old/ too young/too thin/too fat ….add adjectives to suit your own personal situation. I am sure you will be well aware of the dialogue you have with yourself.
So take some time to appreciate the beautiful soul that looks back at you through your eyes via the lens of the mirror and begin to share love and gratitude with them – watch how life becomes easier and how others respond in a positive way to the changes and the love they can sense emanating from you via the soulful mirror of your eyes ……
We are always a work in progress – No matter how long we have been doing “this”. “This” being working on self development, self awareness, personal healing or what ever else you choose to call it.
There is always room for improvement and there will always be times when we fall back into old patterns, old habits and old knee jerk reactions
Thankfully we get better at recognising it BUT sometimes – just sometimes – there can be something that triggers us that we either choose not to see or it somehow slips past our radar. We convince ourselves that all is well, and for the most part it may well be.
However, we can find ourselves subtly drawn out of our centre. Things just don’t feel quite right, we don’t feel quite right, ungrounded, fuzzy, find it harder to connect. All these feelings when they persist can be good pointers that there is something that we are allowing to go under the radar that needs addressed.
I was reminded , this last week or so , that I had lost sight of focus, clarity had slipped, confusion and a real sense of self doubt was growing. It was subtle at first, nothing I could quite put a finger on. I shrugged it off – all is well – I convinced myself.
Focus goes further out “of focus” pardon the pun! Ungrounded, spacey not able to follow through on what I had started – limping ever so slightly – All is well I tell myself less convincingly.
I have a default space of pain of needing reassurance, of not trusting my own judgement – a childhood wound of not being allowed to assert myself – being told what I needed to do and when. Of needing approval.
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t a horrid thing, just what ever I seemed to choose – there was always a “BUT” but this one is better, this thing is more acceptable, this way is better. All that unconscious micro chipping away of confidence in the ability to choose took many years of painstaking work. I had it pretty much sussed or so I thought.
A situation almost at its conclusion required me to do something that really felt against the grain – in fairness it was unavoidable and wasn’t really a huge thing – but it triggered that part of me that felt ” less than” that felt “undermined” that felt uncomfortable and unsure. That little girl in me – pushed into the limelight – stood nervously picking her nails – twirling her hair – looking lost – desperately trying to please while wishing she could be a million miles from where she was.
All is well I whispered almost imperceivably this time, as I began to reach out to others in an unhealthy way, fumbling for a sense of security, peeking round corners for answers, being more needy in my relationships yet somehow pushing others out at arms length. A petulance – wanting to do it myself – yet still wanting to be told what I was doing was right – heck as it spiralled it felt like I needed someone to give me permission to do what I needed to do – or perhaps on some level I was looking for a get out clause- an excuse “not to”
Yet somewhere in the seeking, the searching, the grasping at straws – the answers caused more confusion – deepened the growing sense of panic and ungroundedness.
Thoughts beginning to spiral – then thoughts of “hating myself” of being disgusted by my “inability to make sense of things” – the waking in the night micro analysing every move, every choice, the sick feeling rising …… Enough!Thankfully that is when awareness kicked in – I began to see my retreat into that old space and that need to take the reins, to hold myself as my greatest council and to heed my own words. Flower essences to the rescue oops Cerato essence not rescue remedy!
Cerato is a beautiful blue flower that brings us back into the still centre of ourselves where we “know” what to do – where we can hear our inner judgement – when we trust our own plan of action.
A few drops and the rising inner chaos descends to a low hum, a few more drops later – silence – calm – clarity returns. Hearing my own inner council suddenly all the jangly feelings stopped, I knew what to do and not only that I was taking immediate action. It was the ONLY way to get through this – the only way to quell the anxious feelings. Job done!
We have to understand that we are human and that we have these traits, each time we come to a crisis or near crisis point is generally where or when we are ready to make a breakthrough to the next level.
Don’t give yourself a hard time about it – journal with it, make friends with it , cut that inner child some slack and hang out with them – chat with them share perspectives and come to an agreement to move forward – peeling yet another layer of the onion off – shedding some burden that you no longer need to carry – making way for fresh things. New ways. YOUR way.
So remember that it happens to us all – it CAN sneak up on us when we are least expecting it BUT we can quickly shift through and come out the other side – a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger and a lot more aware.
The healing journey is a spiral – not a straight path, with each full circle – just when we feel like we are back in that same old place – have made no progress, are having to go through “all that” AGAIN – Is when we are actually breaking through.
When something emotional is trapped inside its a bit like a bubble in an ice block – there has to be energy to heat the ice so that it melts enough for the bubble to be freed to rise to the surface to dissipate – our emotions are those bubbles trapped inside – little pockets or hurt, of pain, of loss, of abandonment, of rejection in fact anything painful that we have pushed down and frozen inside – the energy needed to unfreeze those emotions come from the catalyst , the trigger , and when we are ready to release the ice melts enough to let that bubble pass to the surface – sometimes quickly and smoothly , sometimes it takes a bit of pushing and shoving and extra energy to coax it out.
The one thing sure about it that if we work with the process we can make things easier and that once released there is a whole new perspective and lessening of the hold that the emotion had on us. It also allows us to be more aware should we revisit this healing spiral of exactly what is going on for us.
I have negotiated this path and have laid another layer of the onion to rest – for now the way forward feels smooth and fresh and vibrant – I know there will be more twists and turns and bumps in the road but I celebrate the victory trusting in my own judgement to show me the way ……
If you need assistance on your journey drop me a message or book a call to have a free introductory chat to see how vibrational essences could assist your healing journey and the path back to the magical and empowered soul that you are under any perceived weights that you carry. https://sallyarthursemotionalwellbeing-4.youcanbook.me/
Like a cog has turned and something “different” has fallen into place.
I have been drawn to a statue I have here of Anubis – saved from a time when my world was filled with Egyptian symbology. His energy is strong and I am sharing what is coming to light for me.
He brings the strength of the divine masculine, he invites us to live from our heart – and to stay true to what we hold in those inner chambers of
Anubis is said to judge the weight of hearts in the underworld – weighing them against a feather-yet he cannot do anything other than to see us from our own eyes, from our own place of wounded judgement.
He invites us now to remove heaviness of heart and to live from our own highest vibrations – not to let others pull us into their storms but to meet them where they are anchored in our own space – strong in our own truth and holding firm to our own knowing and to hold firm in being the highest version of ourselves.
Do not fall into judgement either of yourself or others. Know that you transcend judgement – discernment however is a trusty friend.
Feel the weights calibrate and know that when you feel “off” that you have moved further from your own core and frequency and allow recalibration to take place.
We are asked at this time to lean in fully to the divine masculine and to allow and infact openly invite in that support.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that we ask for external support – although that is absolutely fine – but it could simply mean stepping into our own divine masculine.
As women we have mastered calling in our divine feminine and stepping away from the wounded aspect of ourselves however when we deploy the counterbalance masculine that we need – we often go into defence action wounded masculine space and then feel that things around us begin to crumble.
Many men have mastered their divine masculine but need to employ the evolved feminine aspect rather than the wounded.
As humans we need to interact with both these aspects in their highest vibrational form and to show the opposite aspect exactly how we need things to be, and if that means calling out the dance steps one by one until we master it then lets do that ….
Always remembering to come back to that fluidity at our core that place of our unique inner feminine and masculine mix
Anubis holds space for us to do this – to be in our heart and the more we can love all aspects of ourselves the more we can love the aspects of what ever is mirrored back to us from the external world.
It feels we are at a gateway and only being in this pure and balanced – unjudgmental – and compassionate place can we find – and remain in the sanctuary of our inner peace.
An acceptance of our divine gold print which is slowly coming on line and will enable us to more fully live from that higher heart vibration that removes all weight from our hearts and brings a new vibrational reality with many new choices that have not been available to us in this time line until now.
Important times my friends as you learn the steps of this ancient yet new ritualistic dance with lightness of heart – NO MATTER what plays on externally to you or what your perceptions at any given time may be. As they say ” Love is the answer – no matter the question”